finding "Solace"

I have always loved the word Solace. I use it alot and was pleasantly surpirsed when I looked up it's meaning. Solace means comfort in distress. No wonder I use the word all the time!!

I have become to understand that for myself sometimes doing nothing is my solace.

Lately, I just needed a rest. A rest from writing, from worrying, from doctors appointments and the world. Some inner silence to regroup and prepare for the next battle I am going to have to face. I needed to recoup from some of the setbacks I have encountered in the last little while. Most importantly I needed to rekindle my soul.

What is your solace?

Struggling

I realize it has been two weeks since I have written. I have sat down to write and I have struggled. What am I struggling with?? Well good question.

I have had a very challenging couple of weeks to say the least. I didn’t want to write because I didn’t want to appear angry or bitter. I didn’t want anyone see me struggle.

I kept wondering; How can I help others if I can’t even help myself?

I was even too pooped to even figure it out. I wanted to come up with some insightful meaning to my struggle so I could share my new found wealth of knowledge.

So here I sit today again, to distract myself I decided to surf the message boards of my favorite sites. I read over and over again my friends with CI beating themselves up. When I finally get it. Hell I am beating myself up.

I can see when others are doing it to themselves and I can show compassion for their struggles. But I can’t see it when I am doing it to myself. I am sure a lot of us don’t’ see it in ourselves.. Why do we do this? Why do we best ourselves up and why do we have trouble showing compassion for ourselves?

What a sense of relief. Maybe now I can cut myself a little slack….. stop worrying about not adding a meaningful entry. Like I have said before maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

So how can I help others.. I can help myself

Are you beating yourself up? If so.... Please stop.