Normal never comes

I keep waiting for life

To return to normal

Planning for the day

I feel better

Waiting for the doctors

To cure me

I keep waiting but

Normal never comes /06


I am amazed that a good year after I wrote this poem. I am still waiting.. what am I waiting for? I am waiting for my life to return,to what it used to be. But not with the same passion as before.

I thought that waiting and hoping were the same thing. I thought if I wasn't waiting for something to happen I was letting go of hope. There has to be something to hope for doesn't there. It was key to my moving forward, it keep me going or did it?

I slowly began to realize that it doesn't mean I am giving up hope to accept they way my life is now. I realize that what we hope for changes and what our normal is NOW will never be what our normal was. You know, that is ok. It took alot of energy waiting, honestly I think it consumed me. Now I hope, yeah ... but to accept lessens the struggle in moving forward and finding new things to hope for.